Realizations – 1

REALIZATIONS

Sometimes it is important to realize shit in life. Sometimes it is even more important to let them sink in, accept things or situations and move on. Sometimes, it makes sense to share your realizations, irrespective of how others may perceive them or what they may think about you or your life.


Friendships

  • Generally people are friends with you for their reasons; not yours. It is mostly about their preferences and personal interests. Probably it is best to have a quality friendship without any reasons. But I have only felt angered or disappointed after having expected some voluntarily initiatives from my friends just because I did the same for them. Those who have even one real friend are very lucky. It makes a huge difference in your daily mindset.
  • People will tend to categorize and prioritize you subconsciously. They might even choose others over you because their company seems more interesting to them than yours. At some point, we all have done this to others. It is not possible to take every person forward at the same time or to even get chosen over others every single time.
  • People who have regular companies of others, have probably never thought of those who have been through chronic loneliness. These people tend to take their friendships and relationships for granted. They are not prepared for any lonely situation. And so they may not be able to cope with lonesome hits if it ever occurs to them.

People

  • We always judge others more than ourselves. Always. It is easy to judge others and comment upon their existent situations or actions or words or opinions. It takes mindfulness and unbiased efforts to avoid judging others as much as possible. Everybody has their own journey and discoveries. Judging others may often lead us into ego traps. And that scars our intrinsic personality. It makes us hypocritical. It leaves little room for self-awareness and self-improvement.
  • We often talk way too much than we should. We are poor listeners. Even if we listen, we do it with some degree of biasedness and some or the other assumption or opinion always crops up in our minds as we listen to a person speaking. We end up making silent judgements inside our heads about that person. We take less action. I have found some degree of subtle peace in speaking only as much as necessary. It’s a different thing when you need to express some thought or opinion or feeling. Speak yourself out. But generally, saving that energy and putting it into constructive thinking and action improves personal situations a lot.
  • It is nearly impossible to change others’ opinions about you or what they do to you. It’s more about what you do or think. The journey to this piece of realization was very tough. But it has sunk in by now. 

Love and Compassion

  • We hardly ever apologize to those we have done wrong or hurt. It might seem unnecessary to apologize to people you hurt long ago. But it makes a huge difference if you reflect upon what you did and how it may have affected them. It brings out the real person in you. It makes you authentic. It doesn’t matter whether others believe you or not. It doesn’t matter if they respect you for apologizing or not. Doing your bit to shed off that guilt and to genuinely recognize the other person’s pain is what matters. 
  • In most situations, what we actually need, is simply Love, Tenderness and Constructive Attention. Sometimes, even one of these helps. It completes the significance of our existence. It makes the necessity of co-existence legitimate. 
  • Modern day Love or Romance is not true love or romance; it’s Practical Love. Things these days have become transactional and conditional. And although I think Love as a concept has a lot to do with spiritual notions of letting go and being unconditional; at the same time I have to admit that it is very very difficult to actually follow that kind of path today. We all have our preferences for the “right” person. I think what is important is to not get over-ambitious with these preferences. Not every person gets what he or she wants. There has to be a conscious balance struck between our expectations and how we react to the actual realities that tend to unfold as we move forward in life. It is very important to have a personality of one’s own; but it is equally important to not fall into ego traps.  
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