So let’s say one day you spend a few minutes with yourself (consciously) thinking about yourself, your qualities, your abilities and your talents.
You think about what you can do; who you are; what your professional identity is; what your personal life is like; what you have achieved; what you own; etc.
Every time you ask those questions to yourself, you also end up asking the exact opposites.
At least some of them do crop up simultaneously (may be subconsciously) and you can feel the negatives.
What I cannot do; what I am not; what I should be; how can I enhance my professional identity; what if my personal life was like this; what I have not achieved but wanted to; what I will never be able to do or accomplish even once; what I wish to own; what I do not own.
It’s all there. In your brain. And you quickly try to validate your weaknesses; your fears; your guilt..
and.. the shame you can subconsciously feel, but never accept.
Well, then, you are just not being vulnerable enough to live in a more content way than you have been living.
For me, vulnerability is about accepting who you are and not trying to hide away any side of yours, just because, you have a reason to hide it away, based on any negative feeling or situation.
You may actually become a better person by doing something which you haven’t been doing ever; but you know that you should actually do that particular thing, to become a better person, who, you feel, that you are not presently.
In other words.. vulnerability opens the doors towards a deeper realization of the self and towards self-improvement.
Being vulnerable does not mean that if we are vulnerable in some area of life; we just let it be. It does not mean that we should be taking the “Be-Yourself” mantra so literally, that we actually stop trying to better ourselves in worthy ways. It does not validate the undesirable badass in us.
Being vulnerable means being who we already are; accepting what we might fail at; admitting that we doubt our abilities in some areas of life.. and at the same time, not letting go of the self-knowledge of how worthy we are.
We just tend to lose our sense of self-worth while over-analysing every little piece of ourselves. I think what we don’t understand is this:
1) First. There is nothing bad with being vulnerable.
2) Second. We can be who we already are; and let others also realize the same (even if it takes negative judgements to deal with); and not hide who we are, in bits and pieces, from different people, in different ways.
3) Third. Being vulnerable does not restrict us. In fact, it give us ways to become who we may want to become, or do what we may want to do, through conscious realizations and by facing the rest of the world as it is.
4) Fourth. ‘Being vulnerable’ or ‘being yourself’ does not mean that we should take pride in our dark sides and just let those sides be as they are. ‘Being vulnerable’ or ‘being yourself’ means to realize where are we good, where are we bad, where do we nail it, where do we suck.. But, still believing that we are ‘worthy‘. Worthy enough to do anything that we can already do. That we can always be ‘significant enough‘ in our own ways.
What do you think?
Do watch this video. Everything spoken about in this video will actually give you a deeper insight. Brilliantly spoken by Brene Brown.
How is shame related to all of this: